Eudora Welty with a vibrator, or, this is why blogs were invented..

I realize that Aunt B has already pimped the Recovering Baptist for writing THIS piece, but now that I’ve read it daily for the past few days, I’m convinced this is a lost short story from Eudora Welty, the one she wrote that she wouldn’t show anyone because she wanted to remain ‘a lady’.
I also [...]

I’m a hypocrite, and i’m guessing you are too, or, Al Gore may not practice what he preaches, therefore energy conservation is a waste of time and global warming is a carnard…

From the time my kids were able to understand, I’ve preached the gospel of accepting responsibility for one’s choices. Taking responsibility for choices is more than just lip service. It means that I accept the consequences of my actions.
The flip side of this is to forgive others their stupid choices and to [...]

Oedipus welcomes back Cotter, or, America Idles

Ok..if you are going to dedicate a song to your parents, is Marvin Gaye’s ‘Lets Get it On’ really really the choice you wanna make? I don’t know anyone who even wants to THINK about their parents having sex, much less encourage such a thing.
Weirdly, at least to me, Jared Cotter, one of ten [...]

Newsflash: Supreme Court Strips Al Gore of Oscar…

The Supreme Court took away Al Gore’s Oscar today declaring George Bush winner…
My giggling tip o’ the knit cap goes to Vic Bowker.

We don’t get too many Violent Femmes in these parts, or, you DON’T want fries with that?

Roughly two weeks ago, I heard the anthemic Violent Femmes tune, ‘Blister in the Sun’ used as an intro to a Wendy’s commercial. Considering that the Femmes music, and particularly THAT song have been the musical equivalent of ‘Catcher in the Rye’ for teenage (and beyond) angst, AND they are actually good, AND considering [...]

Things I don’t get – The Melissa Ethridge edition

I don’t like Melissa Ethridge, or I should say, I don’t like her singing voice.  Her voice has little color or nuance.  She goes from whisper to shriek in less than 60 seconds.   Her songs all sound the same to me.  I gotta believe that if she was on American Idol that the judges would [...]

Sista Smiff gets a faux job, or, The Health Department just get healthier…

Speaking in my capacity as a private citizen who is employed by the State Department of Health, I’d like to welcome the Sista into the fold. Sista will be working in a office here in Nashville, but sadly not in my building. The state’s lucky to have her.
I spoke with [...]

Stacey Campfield ushers us in…into the nanny state.

I always thought that true conservatives eschewed the use of government to enforce so-called ‘personal virtues’.  Representative Campfield, who I’m sure would be honored to be called conservative, has sponsored Nanny Bill 981 (aka House Bill 981) to help shepherd poor people into the tent of financial responsibility.  If he isn’t shepherding, then he’s just [...]

Oh, oh, oh, it’s magic, or, Memorial for the tele-Tubby

Another magical day in Vandy’s Memorial gym, where Tubby Smith brought the Wildcats snarling and ready to go…and go they did, right out the door on the losing end of a 67-65 classic.
During the 70s and 80s, Memorial Gym was known for it’s magical powers enabling the Commodores to steam past opponents who were [...]

Oscars…get yer red hot Oscars, or, I’ve got your winners..book it!

Today, and today only, I’m going to tell you with ABSOLUTE certainty* who will win some of the Oscars tonight. I’ve had many years of viewing experience and have probably watched more movies than the number of goofy bills produced each session by our state representatives.
I’m privvy to the ‘rules’**. I know [...]

You’ve got one more chance: Ordinary Heroes

Tonight at 6:00 PM, the last performance of a non-ordinary play – Ordinary Heroes -  will play out at Fisk College..  I saw the play on opening night, and although the stories stood out, there were seams showing.
I saw the play again last night, and brothers and sisters let me tell you, the play was [...]

By the time I get to Phoenix (i better be getting in shape), or, why is that airport security guy snickering?

The Sky Harbor airport in Phoenix is piloting testing out a new passenger security scanner system with a device that can actually see through your clothes. I don’t obsess about my skinny arms and legs and lack of er, trunk (when I lived in Brooklyn, the kids called me bookoo smash – because [...]

I’ve got an investment question..

Is the over/under for Pacman Jones being completely and totally broke, age 38 or age 39?    Thanks in advance for your help.

Dear Peter Forsberg:

It’s going to be all right. I watched you last night in person*. I’m no expert, but you are PRESSING. And, as a less than stellar skater myself**, your somewhat unimpressive solo act in the shootout serves notice that you are, despite the press clippings, human***.
You are gonna be fine. You’re [...]

EXCLUSIVE!! Right-wing scientist cabal produce artificial ‘Robo-Rep’

I’ve just been handed some incredible documentation concerning a splinter group of right-wing scientists who are bent on replacing state representatives with ‘robo-reps’ produced to spout right-wing rhetoric and Fox News talking points.
These scientists are reputed to have already placed on ‘robo-rep’ in the Tennessee House. This report could neither be confirmed or denied, [...]

The less-than great pretender, or more advice to American Idol contestants

Dear Alaina Alexander, 24, of West Hollywood, Calif.: You need LOTS more brass in your pocket to eeeeven think about singing that Pretender’s song. That version didn’t need a musical review..it needed a Medical diagnosis. Leave Chrissie Hynde alone. She deserves much better.
On a nicer note, there were four women who [...]

Here’s an idea how NOT to support the troops…

Quite frankly, I’m sick to death of being told that Democrats are not patriotic or that you can’t both support the troops and be against this failed war effort. Setting that argument aside, let’s talk about supporting the troops.
Did you realize that the newly released Bush budget nearly doubles the prescription drug co-payment for [...]

Pacman, Pacman, Pacman

We need to make sure that the story is investigated. The Titans need to make sure that Minxx nightclub owner Robert Susnar doesn’t have some vendetta against Pacman Jones and is making the following story up:
Jones tossed hundreds of $1 bills on the stripper stage, Susnar said, adding that when a dancer started grabbing [...]

Probably my favorite quote of the year..

From ‘The Rep’s’ blog:
I guess the old saying “My country right or wrong” has been replaced with “My agenda right or wrong”
Sorry, I just broke my monitor by banging my head…………

American I-Dull

The last time I wrote about AI, I touted wonder-singer Tami Gosnell and predicted she would go far. Naturally, she didn’t even make the ’round of 24′. So much for my prognostication skills. I still think she was a stand-out. In fact, if she had been able to sing with the [...]