Governor Bredesen sells naming rights to Bicentennial Mall

The smallest state park in Tennessee, formerly known as the Bicentennial Mall will soon be known as ‘Nissan Mall’.

Bredesen explained:

‘We already have a Centennial Park in Nashville. Nobody really understands the ‘Bi’ prefix anyway. Nissan offered to fund my pre-K program for three years as long as the kids were taught Japanese at least one hour during the day’

‘It was a deal the state couldn’t afford to pass up’

Nissan will be allowed to display their latest models of cars, trucks, and SUVS by the dancing fountains and in the grassy part of the mall where people aren’t supposed to walk. Turning the gift shop into a sales office on weekends is being discussed, as long as sales of ‘I heart Nashville’ underwear is not disrupted.

The mall will be officially renamed on May 1st.

Exciting Neighborhood News

Leaders of Historic Germantown have decided to merge with Salemtown and give up the ‘Germantown’ name. Mitt Sweeney, cultural vice-president for the association, spoke for the group:

‘We really don’t have any more Germans around here, and quite frankly, being named for a western European country isn’t that attractive in 2007′

The neighborhood formerly known as Germantown will take on the name of its neighbor to the north: Salemtown.

Sweeney noted:

‘The name Salemtown has more of an historical flavor, and besides, we were hoping for more duplexes to be built in the area. Salemtown brings duplexes and the long awaited laundry-mat into the equation’.

The fate of ‘Oktoberfest’ is in doubt. South Salemtown leaders are leaning towards some type of pretend ‘witch hunt’ in honor of the original Salem.

Look for a name change at the neighborhood landmark, Germantown Cafe.

More details as they appear. Hey Enclave…Salem’s Lots scooped ya on this one!