I have a theory that pretty much every situation in life has some analogy or corollary from Seinfeld. If you have seen all the episodes (in some cases multiple times), you will recall a line or a scene or a plot twist that somehow relates to the current mise en scene.
“You know ….if you had told me twenty-five years ago that some day I’d be standing here about to solve the world’s energy problems, I would’ve said you were crazy. Now let’s push this giant ball of oil out this window.”
An energy bill porked up with some interesting Texas expenditures and suspicious pollution waivers courtesy of Tom DeLay, that does not address CAFE standards, that does not intensely concentrate on alternative energy sources or new technology and that does not even address global warming concerns (yes, there IS a middle ground between Kyoto Protocols and doing freaking NOTHING) is about as sensible as pushing a giant ball of oil out of the window.
“So, has the summer of George begun? Or are you still decomposing?”
Having to cut that month-long vacation in Texas by two days must have been a jolt…
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but lately I’ve been drifting aimlessly.”
“Now that you mention it.”
“But I’ve finally realized what’s missing in my life… Structure!”
Based on various reports about the President’s involvement during the first three days post-Katrina, including his initial listless remarks which sounded like he WAS reading a laundry list, followed by a speech in San Diego and some golf and back to Texas.
“Yes, I was very wise to hitch my wagon to his star..”
General Colin Powell apologized for his pre-Iraq war speech to the U.N. explaining why we HAD to go to war in Iraq. Also pretty much every senator or congressman in a moderate non-blood red state who is identified with the Bush doctrine, now that everyone can see that the man is as fiscally conservative as a drunken _______ (fill in the blank with any group or person you wish to insult) at a whorehouse, and that the build-up to the war may have been well-planned but the post-war terrorist-recruiting prelude to a civil war plan ain’t exactly working as advertised. And, yes, I know that much good has been done and that Saddam was bad, but I also know that we are up to 24,000 civilian deaths and 1,899 American military casualties. Oh yeah, most of the terrorist funding pre-9/11 up to today has come from Iran, Syria and Saudi Arabia.
“Why would we want to help somebody?” That’s what nuns and Red Cross workers are for.”
The Rush/O’Reilley initial response that the victims in New Orleans should have had enough sense to get out before Katrina, notwithstanding that 20,000 or so didn’t have a car and/or enough $$$ to go anywhere. And for anyone wh thinks that killing someone for stealing a pair of sneakers is a good trade.
“Serenity now! Serenity now!”
“What is that?”
“The doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say ‘serenity now!'”
“Are you supposed to yell it?”
“The man on the tape wasn’t specific.”
This is for the American public at large who are still reeling from Katrina while waiting for Rita while watching gas prices spiral upward while paying more and more for the blood pressure medicine needed for the stress and bad diets we continually ingest while a war is going on and we are fed incessant reports of a missing rich white girl in Aruba while lots of other people were missing who didn’t look much like the missing girl in Aruba, meanwhile the budget deficit is reaching epic historic prooportions and the beat goes on..and on…and on
“I was in the pool! I was in the pool!”
Bush’s popularity and job ratings have certainly displayed shrinkage…
“You’ll be out before we get the check!”
The American public and their children and their children and their children, etc, on Bush leaving office in 2008.
“It’s time for George to start being George again.”
God help us…