Spill your guts, Krumm, or the Eagle is landing..

Blogger candidate Bob Krumm (running for the state senate 21st district) has admirably (and I’m not joking with that adverb) posted his answers, along with the questionnaires sent to him by various special interest groups such as the NRA (sample question: if my kid had an automatic weapon and he used it to strafe bothersome cats in your neighborhood, would you complain?), The Eagle Forum (sample question: If phonics were good enough for the writers of the New Testament, why aren’t we promoting them as the only way to teach our kids to read?) and other assorted special-interest entities.

Somehow, one of the questionnaires intended for Bob was sent to me by mistake (maybe because I link to his campaign blog??), and I wanted to post it so that he could answer these questions publicly as well.

The name of the organization is: The Eagle Forum Flies too Far to the Left

Question 1: Does life actually begin when a heterosexual male sees Heidi Klum on TV wearing a really hot outfit?

Question 2: Bea Arthur starred in a show called Maude. Her TV character opted to have an abortion. Bea Arthur subsequently appeared in the Golden Girls. Have you ever watched an episode of Golden Girls?

Question 3: If you opened your desk drawer and found two embryos left over from a couple’s attempt at fertilization would you: A) send them to Vanderbilt University for research purposes? or, B) Have a team from Tennessee Right to Life come over and show you the proper method to discard unused embryos?

Question4: If you knew that Charles Manson’s mother was going to deliver Charles Manson would you: A) exercise your second amendment rights to bear arms and shoot her? or, B) not mention the word abortion, but urge her to pay very close attention to a very special edition of Maude?

Inquiring minds want to know, Bob, where do YOU stand on these important issues?


1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

One response to “Spill your guts, Krumm, or the Eagle is landing..

  1. 1. Normally it would. Especially in that Project Runway commercial they show endlessly. But just as the divine spark is about to be ignited, I remember that she is banging Seal. Then my mind wanders to whether he shaves his face with a cheese grater, and the moment of conception is ruined.

    2. No. I firmly oppose any watching of the Golden Girls, and will take the fight to Washington, D.C. to insure that future generations won’t have to either. As far as Maude is concerned, I got two words “Adrienne Barbeau”.

    3. If I found embryos in my desk, I would sautee them in butter and lemon and serve them over angel hair pasta.

    4. Ok, so this is a time travel question, right? So I’m going back in time to 1934 to prevent Charles Manson from being born. There is no television for me to force his sixteen year old mother, one Kathleen Maddox, to watch an episode of Maude. As the episode won’t be produced for another forty years, it would only frighten and confuse this slutty little teen. Kathleen also became an alcoholic and a prostitute, as well as being convicted of sexual assault in 1939. So, it would probably take more than one episode of Maude. I’m thinking a whole season of After School Specials would do the trick, provided they don’t frighten and confuse her. Also, where would I plug in my DVD player? These people probably didn’t have electricity. So, I would definitely need a portable player or a laptop with a charged battery.

    Fuck it, shoot the drunk hoo-er. The fate of Sharon Tate depends on it. Plus, Sharon was way hotter than Heidi Klum.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s