Monthly Archives: November 2006

Not that I really get to pick racial spokespeople..

As soon as I saw the first Youtube of Michael Richards racist outburst, I knew that Jesse Jackson would somehow enter stage left into the story. I really don’t think anyone elected Jesse to be ‘Jesse Jackson – racial spokesman’ and I’m certainly not stupid enough to believe that all black folks think any one way about anything including who gets to be the self-proclaimed racial spokesman, but Jesse has somehow managed to maintain his lofty post for many many years. Personally, I think he’s ‘played’ and a lot more interested in Jesse-promotion than much else, but then again, I don’t have my own radio show.

If I was in charge of picking racial spokesperson for my race, I think I’d look in the blogger toolbox for an Abramson, a Coble, a ‘B‘ or possibly Sarcastro. If I got a vote for African-American racial spokesperson, I would not vote for Jackson, or even Sharpton. I’d have to cast my ballot for a Dork….He’s a lot more interesting.

My serious point is this: When something newsworthy happens to a white person that doesn’t involve racial issues, there isn’t a WHITE GUY or WHITE WOMAN that the media flocks to for an opinion. Why then, in a supposedly more enlightened era, does the media cling to the canard that a single black person speaks for his or her race? Isn’t this just a thinly guised version of the ‘all black people are ____________’ (fill in the blank with your favorite stupid racial stereotype).

Speaking for me, I’d like to revive an old political slogan..Run, Jesse, Run…and keep running til the TV cameras can’t find ya.

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Apparently they got the tree on Dickerson Road…

According to my wonderful friend Ivy’s Christmas tree post, Ivy has a very special, if somewhat expensive method of decorating the family (I’m not sure the word family actually applies here) Christmas tree:

“I put hookers on the ornaments”. I always knew that Ivy was persuasive…..

Most people put the ornaments on the hookers (i’ve HEARD), but then again, I’ve hung out with that Lavergne crowd and they are a special breed.

Hmmm, I would expound further, but I just got a GREAT idea for the city tree down at the courthouse…Mayor Purcell, oh Mayor Purcell……

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That’ll show him, or, Depriving Lil’ Kim of his toys..

I’m reading that the U.S. government is taboo-ing exports to North Korea if the item can fit into pee-wee Dictator Kim’s playhouse. No IPODs for YOU. No more sippin’ Hennessey while listening to The Game’s 808s.

Who are we kidding? Does anyone seriously think that Kim is going to be deprived? I think we should take a different tack. Send the little killer a gross of Zunes and a dozen or so of those 42″ Phillips Plasmas TVs. Personally, I’d be willing to send him a complete OIC Variopoint 2110 copier.

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Death by copier, or, learning how to use our new copier is going to make my head explode

There is a team of copy machine engineers installing the machine pictured above in our office. Don’t let that picture fool ya. That sucker is 12 feet long. I’m not kidding. We had to move a guy out of his cubicle and tear down a wall in order to accommodate the new behomoth.

Here’s the kicker. We are going to receive a SIX HOUR TRAINING CLASS on how to use the damn machine. !geezer alert! I remember in the old days when you’d take a sheet of paper you wanted copied, slap it down on the glass, close the lid, hit the numeric keypad and then hit a button named ‘COPY’ or ‘START’ and wham, bam, thankumaam, the copy(ies) would appear in one of several trays. Back in those days, you could actually pull/twist/punch one button/switch and you could turn on a TV…blah blah blah..

To tell the truth, my machine profiency level peaked with PONG. I got that game. Modern video games befuzzle me. I hate the idea that I have to actually ask a secretary-type-person to make copies, but the odds are, they’ll understand the damn machine.

Hey, is Matlock on???

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O little town of Bethlehem, how clear..WAIT, What are you doing with Brighty, and where the hel..uh, where the heck is Ernie the camel…

There are so MANY aspects of this story that need to be addressed. Seems PETA complained to this church about their ‘live’ nativity, thinking that ‘live’ meant animals. The church responded and stated that no animals could possibly be hurt in their nativity because they didn’t use live animals.

PETA may have a general point, if their stories about animal abuse and even rape (I’m not sure I wanna know any more about THAT story) are true..

Brighty the donkey, snatched from a nativity scene in Virginia and beaten by three young men. Ernie the camel fled a creche in Maryland but was struck and killed by a car. Two sheep and a donkey had to be euthanized after a dog mauling at a manger scene in Virginia.

I’m all against abusing animals on any level (step away from the sheep..), but I’ve gotta wonder who is looking out for the people in these creche scenes. In the nativity scene mistakenly fingered by PETA, they actually have a camel puppet and a guy who wears a ‘cow hood that is really quite scary’. I don’t know about you, but if I had to hold my arm up behind a fake manger wearing a camel puppet for hours without talking to my fellow masochists celebrants, I might be having less than kind thoughts about the baby Jesus, and I might even be tempted to wish the visitors a ‘HAPPY HOLIDAY’.

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I say civil, you say sectarian, I say Rumsfeld, you say all Iraqis are contrarians..

I would say that I’m enjoy the debate and fingerpointing going on in pundit-world and politico-world about whether or not Iraq is in the midst of a civil war and just exactly who is to blame for the mess over there.

I would be enjoying this, like I said, except the last two months of the war have been the deadliest for Iraqi civilians yet. The latest place to point the finger is towards those darn Iraqis because they just don’t seem to want to do what they have to do to foster a democracy.

The neo-cons are blaming the generals. The generals are blaming Rumsfeld. I don’t know who Rumsfeld is going to blame, but I suggest that he spend a good amount of time in front of the mirror each day.

And, American soldiers continue to die. Lotsa blame to go around. Me, I gotta believe the buck stops at the top. I firmly believe that this President will be remembered for making one of the worst foreign policy mistakes in our history. I also believe that hating the President is useless and polarizing.

Mostly I believe that the finger pointing needs to move towards pointing towards a way to get us out of Iraq. Our soldiers have done a good job there, but our policy has been a clear and utter disaster.

After the election was over, and the country delivered what seems to be a clear mandate against this war and the way it has been waged, it feels like we all kind of relaxed and retreated into a cocoon of belief that we had accomplished something and were now ready to move on to the next issue. We got a good start at least, in delivering a message to the President and his administration, but I believe we need to keep the hammer down and not rest on our ephemeral laurels.

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Attention Tennessee travelers, Starbucks open at Manchester exit..

I go back and forth from Chattanooga a LOT. Traveling over Smiley’s mountain (aka Monteagle) on the way back from Chattanooga (on I-24) is sometimes a nerve-wracking experience when the weather is less than nice and the roads are slick and there are 6,324 large trucks racing down the mountain alongside your vehicle (my vehicle of choice is the low-bid state car I regularly get assigned to me: stinky Dodge Stratus, as opposed to the Taurus or the Prius).

After recovering from today’s downhill travail, I stopped off at good old exit 114 where there have always been a buncha fast foods and cheap gas. But now, the latest addition to the grandeur of Exit 114:a brand spanking new Starbucks featuring the same overpriced coffee found at all their other locations. I’m willing to over-pay. because I like their coffee and, it’s the antidote to the jimmy-legs I get driving a Dodge Stratus over Smiley’s mountain. I’m glad to see coffee shops at key interstate exits. I wish that local folks could afford interstate exit prices, but the bite of reality is that Starbucks is probably the only game in town (at least in Tennessee) willing to pay the price.

If they would just put a coffee joint at the Waverly/Lobeville/Loretta Lynn exit going west and Harriman going east, all my travel needs would be satisfied…

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