oh my God..they ARE out to get me

I guess I’m going to have to apologize to the OCE Variopoint 2110. It’s still not working, but apparently my extreme-machine-dissing has been passed along cyber-like to my work computer. Ok, the fact that my work computer is a low-state-bid-that-costs-more-than-what-you-could-get-off-the-shelf-at-Office-Max Gateway computer may have something to do with the satanic forces that have inhabited my computer since my rather harsh talk about the OCE Variopoint 2110.

Yesterday, out of nowhere, I got this message that my machine was shutting down in 45 seconds and I better, really really fast, save what I was doing because it was going to BE GONE. So, I saved the blog post really important state document I was working on and waited for the metal-machine-music to reboot. Every three minutes or so after that, I got the message of death. I called the help desk and to their credit, they responded quickly.

I guess the urgency of my message resonated in the halls of the help center. They sent not one geek incredibly helpful state employee, but two. They proceeded to run the state-low-bid-adware-detector which is sadly not quite as good as the stuff you can load for, say, FREE, from the internet, and then they ran it again, and for good times, one more time.

They left, with the message to call if I had any more problems. Within five minutes I was beseiged with more pop-ups than moles at the Midway. I managed to work for several minutes on what was actually an incredibly important state document and then I got the message of death again…

So, to the OCE Variopoint 2110, I apologize. I’m sure your feelings and inner workings are far more complex, than I, a simple carbon-based life form, can realize. Please tell your friend, Mr. Gateway, that I’m sorry.

While I’m at it, just to be safe, I’ll apologize to Merril Hoge (misguided ESPN analyst who still thinks Vince Young stinks) as well. Maybe cable TV really is ruining our lives.

To any other machine I’ve maligned, I’m sorry…really really sorry.


1 Comment

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One response to “oh my God..they ARE out to get me

  1. I believe I would be VERY careful around anything electronic and especially anything that might contain a microchip there today, if I were you. I heard a rumor that coffee machines and microwaves can be paid off as hitmen to rid the corporate world of infidels such as yourself…

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