love and death..

I always hate it when some horrible or sad happens to an athlete or an entertainer and they say..”I guess this puts everything in perspective now”, like somehow we forgot that people continue to die or get sick or have accidents because we have FOOTBALL or LOST on TV or Rocky IVX – Fighting for his LIFE!.

Most of us are aware that this is perspective to be had on a daily basis. Shit happens. We have financial problems because of unexpected damn car repairs. Our washing machine breaks. Our body breaks and the hospital bills mount up.

Even if we know all this, it always hurts when a friend who is too young to die, dies. When a tumor that sneaks into his brain like a dream and grows and grows until, surprise, lights out. No perspective I have can understand why that happens. Yeah, I know the words, and i understand that disease is part of an imperfect world, but perspective, hell no. Not supposed to happen.

I’m driving to Texas tonight with some friends to attend my friend Nick’s funeral. Nick was 51 when he died yesterday leaving behind an 11 year old son and a wonderful wife. Nick fought this damn tumor and kept alive by sheer willpower for months after it would have felled most people.

Nick was part of my life when we were saving the world in New York back in the 70s. We didn’t save the world, Brooklyn, or 531 Dumont where we lived. But we did make some of the best friends a person could ever have (including my wife)…it’s the kind of thing that happens when you are social workers hellbent on doing something good…it always surprises you when a different good happens.

Nick had a great life. People from all over the United States are on their way to say farewell. I’m just lucky to have known him, and that’s my real perspective here.

See you at the end of the week.



Filed under friends and family

18 responses to “love and death..

  1. Be careful driving, John. Will be thinking of you, and Nick’s family this week. And, hugs.

  2. Are you coming through Memphis?
    I’ll be there until Sunday.
    If it is feasible, meet up with SQ, Lynn and I and we can give you a group hug.

  3. I am so sorry for you loss, John. Please know that you are in my thoughts, as is your friend’s family & friends.
    Luv ya! Ginger

  4. John, I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

  5. So sorry to hear that John. Y’all be careful driving and I’ll be praying for you and Nick’s family.

  6. So sorry for the loss, John. Have a safe drive.

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss, let us know if you guys need anything. Have a safe trip.

  8. Nick sounds like he was a great friend, and from what you wrote, he knew he had a great friend in you as well.

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  9. Be careful on your drive.

    I’m so sorry, this has got to hurt like hell.

    You story of your friendship warmed my heart, though. Very few people get to experience such a friendship. At least in that you can rejoice.

  10. I’m so sorry, John. For your loss and for Nick’s family. My thoughts and prayers go with you.

  11. Sorry for you lose. Touched by the post, that “different good”.


  12. John, I am so sorry for your loss.

  13. I send you many, many hugs, my friend.

  14. thanks for sharing this John. I’m sorry you lost such a great friend.

  15. I’m sorry for your loss, John. Sad things seem to be popping up all over. It is wonderful that your friend had strength, and so many great people who cared about him. Drive safe.

  16. Very sad, so sorry for your loss.

  17. Hey, buddy.

    Sorry I’ve been out of town. I got hit in the face with the same sort of news while I was gone, so I’m feeling for you doubly.

    Hang in there and remember the good times.


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