…..And a hocky team broke out, or, a few observations about hockey crowds

Folks, I don’t care if you don’t know icing in hockey from that sugary goop on top of a cake, we have an incredible hockey team in our town. If there WAS a good hockey poet (or even a poet who occasionally dabbled in puck-ery), they would be composing lines re the line of Kariya, Legwand and Erat. I have no doubt about THAT (Legwand and Kariya are more of a rhyming challenge). These guys rival Tinkers to Evers to Chance teammate connective-wise.

If you haven’t been to see the Preds, a few words of advice…

If you plan to bring kids, explain the words ‘suck*’ and its plural before the game. Spin the word anyway you wish, but after the game be prepared to hear the sing-song chant ‘MOM YOU SUCK, DAD YOU SUCK’, if you deign to chastize them in a manner not parallel with their particular line of thinking.

If you kept a ‘suck’ click count during the game, I’m pretty sure that the triple figure would be reached somewhere in the second period. I’ve said it before, I’m sick of the word. I’m not offended other than being disappointed in the mass of people who can’t come up with a better insult.

The announcement of each opposing player’s name is met with ‘SUCKS’. When a goal is scored on the opponent, a barrage of once-clever suck chants ring the arena. What was somewhat funny and artful back in 1999 and 2000 have become lamer than parents trying to remain relevant with their kids by using hip-hop terms of the late 90s.

Pretty much every sneer-cheer is peppered with ‘sucks’ except the still-funny-to-me jibe at the opposing goalie after the Predators score – ‘It’s ALL your FAULT, it’s ALL your FAULT’.

I’ve written about the ‘suckage’ factor more than once. I probably might as well protest the tide system in the ocean or decry the vapid brain-patterns of prime-time programmers. Is it all our fault for continuing to buy tickets and watch TV?

On another note, for the love of the great Gretzky:

Dear Predators management: LOSE THE FANG FINGERS bit when an opponent is penalized and has to sit out for a few minutes. This was a cutesy-wootsy element back in the pre-historic pred promo days when most of us didn’t understand things like ‘clearing the puck’, or as mentioned above, that’icing’ is more than just a cake adornment. It’s NOT cute anymore. It’s annoying, embarrassing and lends credence to fans from other towns thinking that we are newbie nimrods in search of a clue.

Finally, to the woman in line with us at the coffee kiosk with the Trinity Broadcasting hair..wow. It really looks strange to see that hair with a Preds sweater instead of purple garb, standing in line rather than poised to strike for dollars while reposed amidst the gilded roccoco. Maybe it’s just me…

Meanwhile, I’ll be thinking of new words or phrases to be exclaimed sing-songedly after each opponent’s name is announced…hmmm,
Shanahan – YOU’RE CRAPULOUS
Avery – BITES FERRETS
Pronger – Iced over with ENN-U-I
Toskala – At Best, med-i-oc-re, med-i-oc-re
Crosby – Stills and Nash are better off without YOU

Are you hearing me Section 303…are you listening Leipold?

*I realize this may be ironic considering my true blog motto is: attempting (and often failing) not to suck for over 1 solid year

Advertisements

9 Comments

Filed under Predators

9 responses to “…..And a hocky team broke out, or, a few observations about hockey crowds

  1. THIS is what I love about going to a hockey game (besides our incredible team)!

    There’s a certain Rocky Horror feel to the whole thing.

    Announcer: San Jose is on the power play.
    Crowd: And they still suck!

    How could you NOT love that?

    As much as I love the Titans, I have to say that the live experience is much more fun at a Predator game.

  2. ok, i’m making one ‘sucky’ exception to my de-suckification policy:

    I do still laugh at that ‘and they still suck’ after the power play announcement.

    Hockey in person is as good as it gets, and this comes from a stanch baseball is life, all the rest is just details kinda guy.

  3. We love going to hockey games! Our oldest son was 3 weeks old when we took him to his first game. We only go to minors, though. And we haven’t been to one since Roanoke got a new team … at least I think they have a new team. The last team & program were so lame (though we still went) that we haven’t kept up with what’s going on lately.

    The whole immature crowd thing is really annoying too. I think the favorite chant in our humble Roanoke arena ended in U-C-K, & the first letter of that word was not S! Even if you took away my goody-goody propensity, the level of maturity rivaling my 4-yr-old would still get on my nerves. What is it about hockey games (& nascar races) that attracts hillbillies & childish men?

    By the way, you completely made my day by leaving a comment on my blog. I can hardly breathe for the fact that the great John H graced my blog with his presence. I think I’m going to get off mybloglog, though–it weirds me out every time I get on your blog & see my face over there.

  4. Lisa – i think you must have me confused with another John H, lol.

    The word great and my name should only appear together based on my headsize (actual not egoist-sized), my bullwinkle-impression, and propensity to achieve really bad puns in my subject lines.

    I’m honored to ‘meet’ you. Any friend of Emily’s is a …actually any friend of Emily’s probably needs a lot of help p:o

  5. I realize I now fall prey to your sly attempt at gaining a reaction from me. Your comment was low John. Low.

    And funny.

    I know I’ve been absent from my blog for a while…I do think about you every day though – every day I fail to post something new.
    Not to worry though – it’s coming. I feel it rising up in my bones like a calcium deposit. It’s gonna burst soon. I promise.

    Now you wish you didn’t know that…

  6. Ha! My “great” reference was only sarcastic.

    I’m not sure if I’m officially a friend of Emily’s–I only just met her last month like you did. I’ve known Malia just a tad more than that. But, you’re right–I definitely do need help.

  7. I’m convinced that one of JJ’s first words is going to be “suck” – he’s been to probably 8 games so far this year, and we sit two sections down from 303. So far, he just “sings” to the national anthem…

  8. So is it a bad thing to chase the cats around the house with a hockey stick chanting that they suck? I’ve got a Zidlicky stick with just the right amount of curve in it to scoop them up and flip them around.

    Sorry, but the childishness of yelling “You Suck” loudly over and over for a few hours is a great stress reliever for me.I can’t do the “It’s all your fault” thing to the goalie.Guilt complex. I don’t do fang fingers unless it is to poke someone next to me.

    Avery-box turtle
    Gerber-baby
    Tugnut-ow

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s