Folks, I don’t care if you don’t know icing in hockey from that sugary goop on top of a cake, we have an incredible hockey team in our town. If there WAS a good hockey poet (or even a poet who occasionally dabbled in puck-ery), they would be composing lines re the line of Kariya, Legwand and Erat. I have no doubt about THAT (Legwand and Kariya are more of a rhyming challenge). These guys rival Tinkers to Evers to Chance teammate connective-wise.
If you haven’t been to see the Preds, a few words of advice…
If you plan to bring kids, explain the words ‘suck*’ and its plural before the game. Spin the word anyway you wish, but after the game be prepared to hear the sing-song chant ‘MOM YOU SUCK, DAD YOU SUCK’, if you deign to chastize them in a manner not parallel with their particular line of thinking.
If you kept a ‘suck’ click count during the game, I’m pretty sure that the triple figure would be reached somewhere in the second period. I’ve said it before, I’m sick of the word. I’m not offended other than being disappointed in the mass of people who can’t come up with a better insult.
The announcement of each opposing player’s name is met with ‘SUCKS’. When a goal is scored on the opponent, a barrage of once-clever suck chants ring the arena. What was somewhat funny and artful back in 1999 and 2000 have become lamer than parents trying to remain relevant with their kids by using hip-hop terms of the late 90s.
Pretty much every sneer-cheer is peppered with ‘sucks’ except the still-funny-to-me jibe at the opposing goalie after the Predators score – ‘It’s ALL your FAULT, it’s ALL your FAULT’.
I’ve written about the ‘suckage’ factor more than once. I probably might as well protest the tide system in the ocean or decry the vapid brain-patterns of prime-time programmers. Is it all our fault for continuing to buy tickets and watch TV?
On another note, for the love of the great Gretzky:
Dear Predators management: LOSE THE FANG FINGERS bit when an opponent is penalized and has to sit out for a few minutes. This was a cutesy-wootsy element back in the pre-historic pred promo days when most of us didn’t understand things like ‘clearing the puck’, or as mentioned above, that’icing’ is more than just a cake adornment. It’s NOT cute anymore. It’s annoying, embarrassing and lends credence to fans from other towns thinking that we are newbie nimrods in search of a clue.
Finally, to the woman in line with us at the coffee kiosk with the Trinity Broadcasting hair..wow. It really looks strange to see that hair with a Preds sweater instead of purple garb, standing in line rather than poised to strike for dollars while reposed amidst the gilded roccoco. Maybe it’s just me…
Meanwhile, I’ll be thinking of new words or phrases to be exclaimed sing-songedly after each opponent’s name is announced…hmmm,
Shanahan – YOU’RE CRAPULOUS
Avery – BITES FERRETS
Pronger – Iced over with ENN-U-I
Toskala – At Best, med-i-oc-re, med-i-oc-re
Crosby – Stills and Nash are better off without YOU
Are you hearing me Section 303…are you listening Leipold?
*I realize this may be ironic considering my true blog motto is: attempting (and often failing) not to suck for over 1 solid year