American Karaoke, or Women are from Venus and Men apparently are from some planet that isn’t into singing

Unlike the biblical injunction, the first was best last night. Blake ‘Beat Box’ Lewis threw a little reggae-rap on the stage and it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great either, but you can see the sparks. I’d say the brunt of the men’s hope to capture the Idol title rests on his b-boy-hatted crown.

Last night’s theme was ‘what’s my secret’ night and I”m thinking pretty-boy Sanjaya wished he’d kept his hula dancing in the closet for another ten years or so. This guy stayed in after last week by a hair, or I should say by a head full of hair that apparently elicits votes from pre-pubescents. His singing voice is chicken broth without the chicken. The choice of the mediocre John Mayer song (‘Waiting for the World to Change’ should have been re-titled, Waiting for the Song to End) was as inspired as his choice to show himself hula dancing.

Sundance Head abused Jeremy a little more with his Melissa Ethridge style of ‘belt out every note’ while ‘singing’ the the Pearl Jam classic, ‘Jeremy has Spoken’. If Jeremy spoke like this, his voice would have been shot in about three weeks. If Eddie Vedder had tuned in last night, I can guarantee that the secular version of John 11:35 would read: Eddie wept.

Something else mediocre happened and then Jaret Cotter sang a version of a Stevie Wonder song that would make Stevie want to switch from blindness to deafness, at least for the length of the song. I’m estimating that Jaret was in tune for 35% of the song.

Brandon Rogers followed with possibly the most bland version of Rare Earth’s ‘Celebrate’ song ever. If you had been celebrating when the song started, the party would bottom out by the end of the song.

Something else mediocre happened and then C. Sligh ended the night with a D.C. Talk song that the judges praised a bit. It was ok, but I guess in comparison to the rest of the night, it sounded pretty fantastic.

All in all, I think one would have been better off hanging out at Ken’s Karoake Box on Division Street. Karoake is a lot more fun in person.

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5 Comments

Filed under music, pop cults

5 responses to “American Karaoke, or Women are from Venus and Men apparently are from some planet that isn’t into singing

  1. “Waiting for the Song to End?!” Hi-freakin’-larious!

    Ken’s Kareoke Bar is a Hibachi Hut now. That’s were Wonderdawg and I met for lunch on Monday.

    American Idol has apparently driven folks to eating instead of singing. (or in Sligh and Sundance’s cases…both.)

  2. I turned a dvd on those boys were so boring. I hate it because I enjoy watching AI. I love watching them evolve, but, this is boring as hell.

  3. Speaking of karaoke, we must have a Blogger Karaoke event. We must.

  4. Lisa

    I don’t watch American Idol (except the try-outs in the beginning when I can catch them), but I enjoy reading your run-down each week of the night before. You are hilarious and your commentary, I have no doubt, is much more interesting than the actual event.

  5. Where is there a decent Karaoke bar in Nashville? Anybody know?

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