Query me this…a decathalon of questions. Warning: Amazing Race spoiler down below!
1. How did Vandy get a six-seed? Lord knows, I love me some ‘Dores, but I was sure they were heading towards a battle with Michigan State as a nine seed. Here’s hoping there’s a 21st century gold strike in the Sacramento area (Vandy men open the NCAA tourney in Sacramento against the father of our country).
2. Do the Baptist Bruins of Belmont have a chance in, er, Hades to beat the second-seeded Georgetown Hoyas? As a Lipscomb grad, I normally don’t root for Belmont, but I was really hoping they’d get an easier first round opponent. Go Bruins!
3. Who exactly is left in the football free agent market to shore up the Titan’s running attack? Isn’t Corey Dillon about a hundred three years old in running back years?
4. How many games into the season will new Cub’s manager Lou Pinella realize that Zambrano can’t pitch every two days and that Ted ‘pictures of’ Lilly isn’t gonna make the northside fans forget Ferguson Jenkins and that if the Cubbies don’t score 9 runs a game they are going to lose a LOT of games? When does his head explode? When does Smiley turn to Frownie? I’ve got game 23.
5. How has Hope Hines faked it all these years?
6. If you have an amazing first line of Kariya, Legwand and Erat that’s been leading the Preds to victory all year, why break it up…even if you did acquire Forsberg?
7. Is there any way to turn up the play-by-play announcer and turn down Dick Vitale?
8. How did Rob and Am-buh lose to
the bitch and the midget, the really snotty woman and her friend who happens to be a little person?
10. If stupid news stories were seeded like the NCAA basketball tournament, would ‘Presidential contenders for the 2008 election’ be seeded higher than ‘Angelina Jolie’s next adoption’?
*our=NY Yankees, my team since 1961…yes, I’m old!