This one is really for the Home-Ec 101 women. This one has been the subject of every two-bit-brick-wall-lame comedian that has ever appeared on the comedy channel. Where do the socks go?
Some of this story may relate to the fact that my wife has been missing from the house for over a week (she knows where she is…). Not that she is supposed to be keeping up with my laundry, but the thing is..I’ve had more time on my hands than usual lately and I decided to take on the sock issue..
I normally do the laundry. Over the years, socks began disappearing during the laundry cycle at some indiscernible point. Tonight, while watching my basketball bracket begin to bleed (Texas A and M losing to Memphis), I decided to do a complete sock audit…gather em’ all up in one pile..launder them and attempt to sort them out. I now have 19 single socks that have no hope of a mate…kinda like singles night at the Battle Star Galactica clubhouse..
I can’t comprehend this. I don’t go places and take off my socks unless by some odd chance I’m actually within walking distance of an ocean, and even then, I don’t throw my socks into the waves. I don’t take my socks off at work, I don’t roll them off eating lunch at the arcade, I don’t slip them off for the walk home after work and I don’t toss them on the front lawn upon my arrival home. When I take them off I do what every red-blooded American does..I throw them on the floor. And then I put them in the laundry hamper (those last two actions aren’t necessarily linked closely by any space-time continuum). They always eventually get into the hamper. Eventually, I take the hamper downstairs to the laundry closet.
I don’t take the laundry out in the back, and I don’t take the laundry hamper for rides in my car. I dump the clothes into the washer. After the washing is done, the socks along with their clothing kin go into the dryer. After they are dried, they go into the laundry basket, where things are either folded or mated. There is no variation here, there is no alternative route.. Yet..socks continually disappear..not both socks in the pair..just ONE sock in the pair.
Yes, I realize that this is an age-old cliche and prosaic problem, but I remain buffaloed, befuddled, and bemused.
Yeah, I do have friends that pin their pairs of socks together before washing, but good gravy, washing is mundane enough without adding that chore before the chore. Is there any other trick, is there any other ploy?
I need hep.
signed, Somewhat sock-less in Nashville .