If you’re ever laying around too weak to get off the couch or switch the channel, and this movie called London comes on, and you think,….oh, Jessica Biel…don’t bother.

Everyone knows that your standard of acceptable TV watching dips into the sub-Maury levels when you are on your not-quite-spinning sick bed. Food and drink do not tempt, but the TeeVee gapes…I’m only typing this as a warning to all you youngsters out there..I don’t care if you do drugs or drop out of school, I implore you, DON’T WATCH this movie called “London” starring Jessica Biel. Yeah, Jessica is not hard on the eyes, and no, I haven’t yet figured out if she can act or not, because I’m kind of still looking for clues, but for the love of all that is decent and plot-worthy, watching two guys wax philosophic over cocaine drippings in an pretentiously infinitely mirrored bathroom is what I’m kinda guessing a stage in hell might seem like.

This is a train wreck of a movie, dropping I’m guessing straight to video or digital or whatever movies drop to these days when they bypass the cine-e-ma. I don’t want to waste much more time even writing about this and I’m starting to feel woooooz-ey again about right now, but I do believe in the cautionary-post, if not tale.

It’s a boy meetz girl meetz drugs loses girlz takes more drugz kinda winz girl back movie that finishes up at the airport. Let me just say – any director or writer that would actually show a guy in a car, parking said car at the front entrance of the airport, and leaving said car parked AT the front entrance of the airport without even a tra-la-la from the airportpolicenazis, should have his screen guild card voided. This movie was made in freaking 2005. Does anybody eeeevan care anymore?

Back to bed…

Advertisements

5 Comments

Filed under Huh?, movies, pop cults, tales of stupidity, Uncategorized

5 responses to “If you’re ever laying around too weak to get off the couch or switch the channel, and this movie called London comes on, and you think,….oh, Jessica Biel…don’t bother.

  1. Pingback: Nashville is Talking » That Booty Hardly Compensates

  2. wooooww hutch. seriously – feel better soon.
    for your sake AND Nashville’s.

  3. hey dis-Emily…I’m trying to do what little of nashville reads this blog a favor, but thanks, I think for the good wishes, along with the disses.

  4. Get “The Illusionist”, she’s pretty good in that one.

    And I’m siding with my sister, too.

  5. I had exactly this experience. I wanted to put this excrutiatingly dull dvd back in the Netflix envelope within the first 15 minutes, but the hopes of more Biel (and more of Biel) on the screen kept me in my easy chair for an hour.

    Than I finally gathered the strength to hit eject.

    That sounded a little dirty, but it wasn’t meant to be.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s