Monthly Archives: June 2007

Yeah, but this one eats popcorn – I’ll give you the punch line, do you know the joke?

I don’t know, I never looked!

With a crowbar…

Well, every afternoon I grab a bag of Cheetos and I put a porno in the VCR…

What kind of duck do you take me for!!!??

If I’m going to be impotent, I want to look impotent..

Hit the ball, drag Bruce, hit the ball, drag Bruce….

I didn’t know it was her turn!

The other one’s a blimp.

I was talking to the duck!

Okay, now what?

Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.

The bad news is, I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday!

I don’t know, it all happened so fast!

You’ve done nothing but complain since you’ve been here!

Are you gonna play golf or are you just going to screw around?

Don’t forget the coffee!

Ed, switch the heads on two and four!!

But first, the ARISTOCRATS!



Filed under Huh?

12 million ways this won’t work…time to come up with something that will work..

I have to admit that there is more than a little satisfaction in seeing many Republican types who had heretofore somewhat supported the President finally realizing what many of us grasped a few years ago – Bush’s arrogance and cronyism and stubbornness are not becoming to the office. His torturous immigration bill flopped amidst the crowing of right-wing radio and right-wing punditry along with a lot of people from all across the spectrum who believed the bill was fatally flawed.

But, here’s the part that’s hard for me to say: At least Bush TRIED to deal realistically with something that the nay-sayers don’t appear to want to confront with much more than bumper-stickers and natavism: There are 12 million folks here who aren’t going to be deported or expunged from our country. They didn’t enter the country legally, but they are here, washing our cars, mowing our lawns, working the line in the factory, building our houses, and harvesting our crops.

You can talk walls, technology, laser, better enforcement ad infinitum regarding the border (not many folks are against better enforcement of our borders), but meanwhile back at the casa, we’ve got these folks who really aren’t going away, even amidst all the rightist talk about shamnesty amnesty.

So…here are are..a woefully overwrought immigration bill has gone down in flames. Are we gonna continue to flap the gums about the ‘illegals’ or are we going to face reality? As a movie once said..reality bites.


Filed under golden rule stuff, Race

Spiderman, Spiderman, all too human, Spiderman

We watched Spiderman 2 on tee-vee last night.  I loved S-2.  Not so much the original and I’m not hearing much good about S-3.   When I was a kid and all the goodie-goods were reading Superman and Batman, my buddy Kimble and I squirreled away with our Marvel pals: Fantastic Four and Spiderman.

Spidey was my guy.  The writers totally got the pre-adolescent mood swings, the walking-on-air-kicking-ass-with-my-new-keds  followed by the plane being shot down by a snub from the cute girl down the row in home room.   Every kid believes he can soar, and every kid has doubts and every kid (and person) has these tapes that tell them that maybe they aren’t really all that hot.  It could have been a jerk baseball coach.  It might have been a teacher who didn’t take the time or a preacher who just didn’t get much of anything.  You want to fly, but there are so many people who’d love to see you down on the ground or down in the pit.

Ya wanna be a hero, and maybe for a few minutes you are…to your kids, to the person you picked up on the side of the road when their car was over-heated, but in less than a minute your kids see you as human and the guy behind you is honking because you aren’t paying attention to the split second that the light turned green and the boss that loves you retires and a new order beckons.

You can still be a hero, but you can more easily fall short.  You believe and you doubt.  All of that is to say why I love Spiderman…a human super-hero.


Filed under derring-do, journey, pop cults

I’m not giving up yet, but the Yankee doodlers are less than dandy..

A few posts ago, after a 9-games Yankee winning streak, I crowed that that Red Sox nation better be watching their back because the Yankees were on the march.  I was certain that the addition of Clemens would add more fuel to the fire and that the Yankee surge was inevitable.  Apparently I should have kept my mouth shut.   A trip to Colorado where the Yankees scored 41 runs in three games last year produced 5 runs and three losses.  Post-Denver, Yankee play has been as inspired as a dry omelet.

Clemens is pitching his age.  Abreu’s power continues to dwindle.  Mike Mussina should change the first vowel in his last name to ‘e’.   Johnny Damon is a shadow of his former Red-Sox-self.   I’m not giving up. I’m not saying uncle.   I’m just saying that maybe just maybe a team that plays Cairo at first base might not be a team that is going to catch Boston this year.

There’s always the wild card….sigh.

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Filed under baseball, New York Yankees

Dick of the Decade Part II

Read the following paragraph carefully. It’s really not subtle, but one might forget we live in a nation of laws and that no one person is above the law. The paragraph concerns torture and what should or should not be allowed by representatives of this country:

The vice president’s lawyer advocated what was considered the memo’s most radical claim: that the president may authorize any interrogation method, even if it crosses the line of torture. U.S. and treaty laws forbidding any person to “commit torture,” that passage stated, “do not apply” to the commander in chief, because Congress “may no more regulate the President’s ability to detain and interrogate enemy combatants than it may regulate his ability to direct troop movements on the battlefield.”*

This is coming from the office of a man who has declared that he is unaccountable to oversight because his office is technically not part of the executive branch. What is that office then, and under what branch does it fall?

A president with any kind of conscience, a secretary of state with any kind of balls or an attorney general that understands what country we live in should have thrown Cheney’s lawyer and Cheney’s doctrine out of the building.

I’m not comparing this to Al queda or suicide bombers or other fascist institutions.  I’m comparing this policy to the stated constitution of the United States and the principles on which we stand.  I’m sorry, but this doctrine falls short.

This, my friends, is the true Cheney legacy.  The big swinging Dick, a man who has obviously amassed way too much power and a President who apparently doesn’t care.    How can this be defended?

*Source: MSNBC.COM


Filed under evil greedy bastards, politics, sanctity of life

Signs of the Apocolypse

God knows I love my sports, but there are limits.  A couple from Pampa, Texas recently named their newborn son ‘ESPN’.

Other than most of his life, the child won’t get much hazing..’hey Espen, CHANNEL this!’.

I wonder if old people could have kids if they’d name their kid ‘Weather Channel’?

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Filed under Huh?

Night of the living 8 under, or was it something I ate

Last night when I was lying prone on the bed about 1:30 tireder than used dirt I realized that sleep was not going to be calling. Not wanting to turn on a reading lamp to disturb the snoring gently cooing wife, I trundled myself downstairs and fired up the tube. That movie about dogs abandoned in Antarctica was playing (8 Under, I do believe) and I was enjoying the dogs splendid efforts to beat this seal out of some whale meat when a woman backed her car down the street (on the TV) screaming. It seems zombies were chasing her, and I really wanted to see if she got away but then sadly I fell asleep for the rest of the night.

Now I don’t know if the dogs made it or the woman escaped the zombies. Stupid insomnia…I can’t seem to get anything useful out of anti-sleep.

How is it when you are so bone-tired you hardly have the effort to blink your eyes sometimes you just can’t sleep. Makes no sense to me.


Filed under Huh?, poor poor me