You know it’s going to be a bad/good movie when..

It’s going to be bad if:  Cuba Gooding is in the movie, if Robin Williams is the star of the movie, if Ben Affleck and/or Jennifer #1 (J-Lo) is in the movie, Ice Cube (how the mighty have fallen) is in the movie, if, sad to say, Jessica Biel is in the movie (come on Jessica, I know you got a good movie in ya) or if the eight funny lines in the movie were all in the trailer.

It’s going to be at least interesting if: Don Cheadle is in the movie, if Christian Bale is in the movie, if Laura Linney is in the movie or if Cate Blanchett is somewhere in there.

We saw ‘Talk to Me‘ tonight.  Cheadle deserves Oscar talk for this one.  His speech (on the radio, he plays a real-life disk jockey from the 60s/70s) the night Martin Luther King was shot moved the movie from good to great.  The music was great as well.

You know it’s gonna blow if it’s ‘_______  III’, cept’ maybe for Rocky III.

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12 Comments

Filed under movies, the shiznit list

12 responses to “You know it’s going to be a bad/good movie when..

  1. I love me some Focus Features. Will be queue-ing soon.

  2. hey….what’s wrong with Cuba Gooding…?? Come ON! Jerry Maguire? Radio? Men of Honor?

  3. I was referring to his recent output: Norbit, Daddy Day Camp, End Game (straight to video). He had the mojo and then he apparently sold it right out.

  4. Malia

    Ok, how does this work for you? Christian Bale & Jessica Biel were in The Illusionist together. Good movie or bad movie?? (I have my opinion, but I’ll save it for later.)

  5. Good point Malia..The Illusionist does bring out some of positives about Ms. Biel, but Bale IS the movie. I enjoyed it, I must say, but it was not a great movie, imo.

    So, I should add a corollary to my rule: if positive star (Bale) and a negative star (Biel) appear in the same movie, you do not multiply them together, because that would always be a negative. You would add them together..the leading star (the one with the most screen time) gets more points. In this case, Bale’s points brings the total above zero.

    Hellsbells, I should be the illusionist for such an amazing amount of bs in one comment!!

  6. While I just flat-out don’t like Jessica Biel, she was in one of my favorite movies, “Elizabethtown,” albeit in a small part. Please don’t make fun of me.

    The Illusionist was good, or at least infinitely better than that OTHER magic movie that came out around the same time, The Prestige. Ugh.

  7. I probably should have said, originally, that the movie is going to bad if __________ is STARRING. Elizabethtown does have the charming female eyecandy dude, and a great soundtrack, but it pales, it pales, I tell you to Crowe’s greatest achievement: Almost Famous

  8. Malia

    Nice corollary! I liked The Illusionist, I thought Biel was terrific in her role. (I liked her in Seventh Heaven but hadn’t really liked anything she had done until The Illusionist.) And, I liked The Prestige because any movie with Hugh Jackman is gonna be good 😉

  9. bridgett

    Now I know two people who liked Almost Famous — you and me. Maybe it was just the time it came out and where I was in my life, but I also love Singles.

    Cuba Gooding wants to work and there aren’t a lot of substantial dramatic roles to go around for mid-30 black male film actors. So he made the bad choice to go into comedy (Snow Dogs???) and he’s not funny.

  10. Make it three. I adore Almost Famous, or any other Cameron Crowe movie. He’s the MASTER of movie music moments. I get misty thinking about it.

    I didn’t mean to dog The Prestige–it was pretty, and I do like its stars, but the end was just bleh. And too many people drowned. However, any movie that can work David Bowie in deserves at least an honorable mention, imho.

  11. Brad

    Equilibrium could make you rethink your opinion of Christian Bale. (And what’s with his teeth?)

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