Monthly Archives: October 2008

I went to see a football game (and a Vandy game broke out..)

My friend Vic and I are martyrs. If Vanderbilt University bestowed some type of special semi-saint status on followers of their football follies, we, along with a LOT of Vanderbilt bleeders would be enshrined.

I’ve been following the Vandy football team for more years than a lot of you have been strolling this mortal coil. I’ve been disappointed pretty much every one of those years. A person would think that after a few rug-pulled-out-from-under-you-Charlie-Browned seasons in the black-gold sun, a person would come to realize that no matter how good the team looks for a half or a game or a series of games, that exact same team will sneak up behind you and just bite you in your lower expectations.

Vic called me up yesterday and suggested we attend the Vandy-Duke game. Even though I continue to hope, my hope is not so pollyann-ish that I buy season tickets anymore. I didn’t have tickets for the game already, but I was pretty sure I could score some seats out on Natchez Trace before the game. No problem there.

We had high expectations. Many of you know that Vandy started out 5-0 this season, with some pretty good wins on the road and at home. Their defense had been stalwart, and their offense, although a bit erratic, had managed to outscore the other team for five straight games to open the season, which is kind of the point of playing. The previous two games had been losses, but they were on the road and they were SEC games, so I really didn’t think that the season had come to the usual stand-still after 4 or 5 wins.

HA. I wish I had a bitter key that could emblazon that HA over there to the left with a singe of bitter HA-NESS. It was a beautiful day for football yesterday, but it was also a deja vu for Vandy fans. There was the initial interception, the missed field goals, the key fumbles, the missed blocks, the missed tackles, the cornerback who managed to cover his assigned receiver but who had no clue to look up to see that the ball was literally passing within two feet over his head, and there was so much, so much more. Seasons in the setting sun passed before me, as I lay dying in my assigned seat.

Inept play calling, inept time management, blunders of seasons passed, blunders of seasons present. It was homecoming at Vandy yesterday, and sadly, I felt right at home. A team that had given me an early bouquet of expectations, a team that had actually been ranked and looked like a contender, was little more than my usual still-beloved Vandy pretender. If there is comfort and solace in the familiar, I should be as comfortable as a worn-in pair of house slippers.

Oh Vandy…why do I still love you…why do I still believe? At least basketball is coming and that manages to be fun pretty much all season long.



Filed under oh the humanity.., Vandy

And you want to be my ‘Help America Vote Act of 2002’?

Like George Costanza running for the phone with his pants down to his ankles, voting officials in six states are displaying the competence of FEMA in New Orleans in their rush to ‘help voters’ and comply with the ‘Help America Vote Act of 2002’.  According to the New York Times, officials in six states are so busy illegally purging the voter rolls that for every new voter registered in the past few months, two voters are removed.    In three states – Colorado, Louisiana and Michigan – the number of voters removed from the rolls far exceed the number of voters who died or relocated.  George Orwell would be SO proud.

Apparently, in a gust of sheer democratic frenzy, voting officials decided to use records from the Social Security Administration as a primary means of removing voters from the roles, despite an agreement that the SSN numbers were to be used ONLY as a means of LAST resort.  SSN officials are worried that many voters are going to be blocked from voting, even though voting rolls are not supposed to be pared 90 days before the election unless the voter has died, moved out of state or have been declared unfit to vote.

I don’t know what is more troubling – a confused angry mass of people who will be denied their inalienable right to vote or the fact that SSN numbers are considered somewhat inaccurate by the very administrative body that deals runs the SSN joint.

Nobody is saying that this is a ‘GOP’ or ‘Democratic party’ conspiracy, but truth be told, the Demo get out the vote push this year is supposedly harvesting a lot more votes than its Republican counterparts.  It seems pretty obvious who is gonna lose the most votes, come election day.  We are talking about hundreds of thousands of votes.  My memory is fading admittedly, but I do believe in 2000, a few THOUSAND votes made all the difference.

Bottom line, the axiom that has rung true for eight years continues to carry the day: If you appoint people to run government agencies who don’t believe government can work, their prophesies will be fulfilled.


Filed under Uncategorized

A lite-er shade of Palin, or, Is that all you got?

The media has a lot of damn nerve expecting Veep candidate Sarah Palin to actually answer THEIR questions.  Palin has her answers – maverick – and she is gonna give em’ regardless of the questions.  The so-called debate last Thursday night – maverick – was little more than another chance for Palin to give her well-coached stump speech.  Her call for more ‘Joe Six-Pack’ was but a feeble chimera of faux-populism that will hopefully fall as flat as the current ‘half-of-a-six-pack’ running the country.

And now she has the you-betcha chutzpuh – maverick – to deride Obama for pal-ling around with a ‘radical’ who actually performed his radical acts when Obama was all of eight years old.  Is that all you got, Palin?  Has it come to THiS?  I know that it’s traditional for the Veep candidate to be the attack dog, but this canine doesn’t even have lipstick.  This is nothing more than blip-schtick, unworthy of even Joe McCarthy’s fabled list of the fifties.

Here’s a woman who sleeps with a man who seriously wanted Alaska to secede from the United States of America, and is running with a man who was against torturing prisoners and now is FOR torturing prisoners, who was AGAINST regulating the sub-prime lenders but who is now suddenly going to regulate the stuffing out of them – maverick -, a man who is either for or against off-shore drilling (I can’t remember where he stands NOW) and she’s gonna play the the Obama had a bad friend game?   How about Charles about the sick people who smeared McCain back in 2000 working for Karl Rove at the time who are now working FOR McCain.  Forget all this…how in God’s name is Sarah Palin remotely qualified to run this country?  Oh yeah, she loves Israel and Jesus and Joe Six-Pack and hockey moms and can see Russia from her freaking house?

I am actually optimistic that the people of this country are tired of the anti-intellectualism neo-con,  con game stooges who have been ruining our country.  I’m optimistic that the people of this country will see though the stunt nomination of Sarah Palin and the suspension of the campaign and the flip-floppery opportunism of Senator McCain, a man – maverick – who has become little more than the re-incarnation of the current failure-in-chief.

If this is really all you got, Ms Palin – maverick – then bless your heart.


Filed under politics, tales of stupidity

If this is an alternative universe, I wanna stay – GO VANDY!!

best football team in Tennessee

best football team in Tennessee


Filed under Uncategorized

I can see the Head Start Building from my front porch!

Katie Couric: What does that have to do anything?

JH: Katie, it’s about the start, it’s about the head, if you don’t have a head, you really can’t start, can you?

KC: Have you ever even been IN the Head Start Building?

JH: Katie, I know there are heads in there, and I know that kids are starting. When you put those two things together: ‘the head’ plus ‘the start’, do you really have to be in the building to understand the concept?

KC: Let me give you another chance. What do YOU have to do with Head Start?

JH: Katie, many people, in my opinion, in starting, with heads, by the way, need more starting, not more heads getting in their way like big government getting in the way of our healthy economy. Katie, it’s synergy, it’s about the heads and, oh yes, it’s about making jobs, making jobs for starters, with heads, who synergize and make more jobs.

KC: I’m still not really understand your part in all this.

JH: Katie, I CAN SEE THE Head Start Building! I can see the young starters, the heads, the starts, and I can see if anybody attempts to enter that building that does not have the best interests of our heads and our starts making jobs building synergy and being the kind of Americans that don’t have to organize their communities, they ARE their communities.

KC: Once again, have you EVER been in the Head Start Building, talked to anyone in the building, helped anyone in the building or picked up a piece of trash in front of the building?

JH: Katie, many times, I’ve been heading..haha, thats a good one, by the Head Start building and I have seen trash, I have seen litter, and I’ve thought, I can start by picking up the trash and seeing that each one of us if we do something ordinary, not like going to a fancy college or university, but by being ordinary people with ordinary heads, ordinary starts, and big hearts, we can turn this thing around.

KC: uh, thanks, John, you’ve given me a real heads-up as to your involvement with that center. Do you ever plan to go in there, John?

JH: Katie, ordinary people doing ordinary things, starting and heading out the door, don’t you think we matter? Don’t you think it’s the great middle class, caring, hoping, jobbing and somesuch…isn’t that what it’s really all about?

KC: wtf???


Filed under Uncategorized