Monthly Archives: December 2006

Two unrelated football notes..

I would put these on the Staggering Prophets, but they’ve switched to Blogger ‘Beta’ and I refuse to follow suit.

1) Coach Jeff Fisher should be the NFL coach of the year. Show me any other coach that has done what he has with similar talent including a lot of young players (and of course the ever-dynamic YOUNG player). I don’t think it’s even close this year.

2) I’m heading to Alabama for the New Years with some long-time friends. While I’m down there I’m thinking about suggesting that the ‘Tide’ hire Rex L. Camino to fill their way-too-long head coaching vacancy. His creativity, slyness and humor would go a long way in the washing-themselves-of-the-Shula-full-boring-routine-offense. Also, for line coach I’m suggesting Glen Dean. You don’t need the zany folks to keep the line in check. Dean would be a solid steady choice.

Let’s go Titans, and Happy NEW YEAR!



Filed under football

Festivus for the rest of us, or, my name may be Earl…

Ok, this is a purgitive hoping to release the bad mojo I seem to have accumulated. This second stupid winter cold (sorry, Sarcastro) is bringing me down, so I will not be able to perform the traditional feats of strength. That leaves us with the airing of the grievances:

1) damn cars. You finish paying for them, and guess what. They *)*^^ die on you.
2) Damn car payments for the ‘new’ car you had to buy because (see item 1)
3) Damn my Gateway work computer. I’ve griped about this before, but I remain underwhelmed
4) screw the people that stole our wind chimes. They were folk art from Mentone. They weren’t worth much but I loved those stupid chimes.
5) I’m no longer upset about the fact that my doctor almost killed me during a routine biopsy (i’ve written too much about this before), but I do get disturbed when I see the bills
6) I’m an idiot for not backing up the files on Item #3 above because the crack Help Desk squad had to re-image my stupid computer and manage to ‘lose’ about 30 key folders and all of my AS/400 macros (don’t ask)
7) For all the people who don’t understand what YIELD means when they see that sign on the southern Metrocenter off-ramp, I’m running out of patience. You’ll some day get your ass yielded right back to ya
8) For all the people who don’t know how to count or don’t care to count at the 15 items or less line at my neighborhood Kroger, I hope you need something fast from the DMV.

That’s enough…i feel better now. Happy New Years to each and every one of you (except for a few of the folks involved in items 1-8 above).


Filed under self-referential nonsense

Life as high school – freaks, geeks, and Friday Night Lights

If adult life is REALLY a replay of high school, this guy would not be the least bit happy. Even though there are some high-school-like-moments in every day adult life, I’d like to think we have progressed somewhat.

One of my honest-to-God theories of TV script writing and creation is that really good writers are still trying to figure out high school and/or they were the geeks or outliers who never were accepted in the upper clique/caste system.

In fact, I think some of the greatest TV shows in my lifetime ARE shows based on high school, many of which totally jumped the shark when the kids went to college.

Witness: Freaks and Geeks – an INCREDIBLE show which practically proves my TV theory all by itself, In fact it was so damn good, that it, like Arrested Development, drew few viewers, proving that the great American public (unlike readers of this and other fine blogs) is somewhat moronic.

My current frame of reference is ‘Friday Night Lights‘. I hadn’t paid much attention to this show until the other night when NBC ran a ‘FNL’ marathon. Holy acne-cream, that show is GOOD. The writers clearly understand high school boys: somewhat neanderthal wanna-be hunters and collector warriors who respond chiefly to two primal forces: sex and meat. The dialogue is pitch-perfect and the writers don’t skimp on the female high-school world either.

Other Hall of Fame High School Shows: Happy Days, Beverly Hills 90210, Buffy, Dawson’s Creek, DeGrassi Junior High (ok, i’m stretching the years a bit) and Veronica Mars. So far, Veronica Mars hasn’t been destroyed by her collegiate days, but I do think the show is a little weaker.

I don’t think the TV writing world can even grasp college…I mean, how many GOOD college shows have there been? Does Felicity even count?


Filed under pop cults

Elementary, my dear Bush, and Nixon, and Ford

I came across this insightful comment while reading Wonkette.

Ever notice that when Bush does one of his “condolence” speeches, he always looks and sounds like he’s giving a fourth grade book report?

“Gerald Ford was a decent man. He was president in 1974. He lived for 93 years. He had a dog once. His friends called him Jerry. He had children, at least one of which was a daughter.”

The comment is from the fertile mind of The Trucker Pundit.

Actually, Ford was a decent and good man. He also gave a great assist to the Democrats (and the campaign of Jimmy Carter) when he pardoned Nixon. He did sponsor one really goofy thing though…During his term, inflation was raging, thanks in no little part to the man he pardoned. Nixon rather hubristically decided that wage and price controls would be his administration’s counterbalance to inflation. Even for a liberal-type such as me, that WAS a goofy idea.

So, Ford, usually not being nearly as dumb as you’d think from the SNL skits, eschewed the Wage and Price controls for a ‘bully pulpit’ campaign called ‘Whip Inflation Now‘. They whipped out thousands upon thousands of buttons for citizens to wear, bearing the ‘WIN’ slogan. Sadly, at least for Republican-types, this may have also contributed to the rise of Jimmy Carter.

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Filed under politics

Gateway to hell….

Into my christmas-ey spirit there is now an intruder,
my hatred and loathing for my Gateway computer,
oh how badly I long for an artful fisk,
aimed at the corrupted FAT and the ailing hard disk.

Damn you and your cow-hided advertising ploy,
your clunker-de-clankers have stolen my joy.

But of these problems, there will be no rid,
as long as the state says, merry christmas, LOW BID.


Filed under Uncategorized

Two chairs, or, a different take on that old John Waite song…

On my wife’s side of the family there are 9 ‘kids’ including our three. Every even number year we trundle out to Kansas (this year we flew*) to be with the ‘Ownby’ side. We play board games, we go to movies, we watch football and mostly tell stories (many of which I can repeat verbatim despite the fact I wasn’t a known quantity at the time the stories took place and didn’t even know anyone named Ownby).

This year there were two empty seats. My nephew is in the Army and is about to be deployed to Iraq and was unable to make it to Kansas for Christmas. I have had lots of family in the military. I am firmly against the war in Iraq. I firmly support our troops. Anyone who says otherwise about me can kiss my asterisk, firmly and completely.

The other empty seat was my daughter’s. She is in Peru (sorry to be repetitive, but this is kind of an emotional thing for me) and enjoyed Christmas in the Peruvian manner (this involves eating a great deal of food, drinking a great deal of the local ‘shine’, and attending mass, hopefully in some coherent fashion).

When we said the grace for the big Christmas meal, my brother-in-law mentioned the two who weren’t there for Christmas. After the prayer, the father of the Iraqi-bound nephew, and the father of the young woman in Peru went off in two separate directions (away from the food). We both returned with rather reddish eyes.

You don’t have to be as old as me to appreciate the joys, the anguish, the warmth and the grace of family. You don’t have to have kids to enjoy the season. But, you really do have to have an empty seat to understand this deal. Many people outside of my family had empty seats this Christmas. I pray that in two years when we return to Kansas that those seats will be filled and that the empty condition for many others is temporary, as well.

*I am not scared of flying. I hate the hassle. I hate the idiots that used footware and thought about using liquids as incendiary devices. I hate feeling guilty for no reason when I go through the security lines. I hate that friends and family can no longer be at the gate to greet you eagerly. I hate the damn narrow seats and the lack of legroom for those of us who fly ‘cattle’. I hate the prices of the concessions once you’ve passed through the security. Flying used to be something I really looked forward to, because I am not a frequent flyer. In my mind, flying is hardly worth it unless you are traveling many many many miles. I’m shutting up now, but I’m still bitter.


Filed under Uncategorized

Peep THIS!

I made it to 25 Peeps. I probably won’t last long considering that I’m missing two key assets….

Take a look – and you better move fast!

My picture is courtesy of Wonderdawg and his thumb!

Update: Thursday, December 28th..I’m about to be un-peeeeped! It was fun while it lasted!

Update: Friday, the 29th (AM): Reprieve from the governor, I’m off the chopping block for now. Well, actually the governor probably has better things to do like picking a new commissioner for my department, but thanks to someone(s) out there, I’m alive…despite some obvious shortcomings in comparison to those around me.

Update: Friday, the 29th (PM): Lunchtime check…I’m peeped no longer. It was a good four day run. Neither ripped nor breasted, I did my best.


Filed under Uncategorized