State-ing the obvious, or, grill my landlord, grill my landlord

Dining in?

I walk to work each morning through one of the most beautiful blocks in Nashville – 5th Avenue through Germantown between Madison and Monroe. Greenery and gardens abound. Friendly faces, hot dogs, Germantown Cafe and front porches. But then, I cross Jefferson. Take a look at the picture. This is what I see when I cross Jefferson. This is what many thousands of people see when they cross the Jefferson Street bridge into our side of town.

The blight in the picture does not stand alone. It seems that a certain landlord purchased every business between 4th and 6th on Jefferson and every business between Jefferson and Jackson (going south from Jefferson) with the intent of tearing down the existing structures and building bigger and nicer structures.

But, and this is quite a but..the businesses moved out, leaving their concrete behind, and the new owner didn’t bother to tear down the abandoned buildings..didn’t bother to clean up the lots, check to see if the buildings were being used as temporary shelter, check to see if a rodent infestation had begun, or check to see if fires started in the vacant lots by squatters might be a little dangerous.

Come on landlord..clean this up, NOW! Not just for my view, but for the fact that this blight is next to the beautiful Bi-Centennial mall, for the fact that people are now living nearby, for the fact that blight begets blight, and for the fact that by God, it’s the right thing to do.

Oh yeah..the landlord. Who is the landlord????

It’s my employer, the wonderful state of Tennessee. Come on Mr. Bredesen, come on general services and public works, take CARE of this mess. I understand (how I understand!) that we don’t have the money to build the new archives and state library and state museum slated for the purchased land, but you need to spend the money to at least level the blight and remove the unsightly and dangerous shelter for homeless who don’t need to living there.

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that there has been a rash of burglaries and car-break-ins in the last few months. Our neighborhoods and cars are tempting targets for dwellers in this sad threshold.

And you can stay OUT of my bedroom..

Is THIS really the headline they wanted?

thanks, Deadspin 

Italian Spiderman – what’s left to say?

Worth it for the mustache alone..

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Now Jesse had a wife, lived a lady all her life, and a step-brother named WHAT???

We watched ‘The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford‘ this morning. It’s certainly a bit more ponderous than your typical ‘Long Riders‘/’The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid‘ James bi-ops, but Brad Pitt performs handsomely as J. James, and the younger Affleck brother, Casey, is a brilliant cowardly Robert Ford. The soundtrack, chiefly by the goth-hero Nick Cave, is wonderfully moody and atmospheric.

Many of you may know this, but Jesse was uber-trendy, considering he actually moved into East Nashville way before it was cool (actually, lots of rich folks lived over there after the Civil War, but I don’t think they were all that trendy). He lived for a time at 711 Fatherland Avenue, and spent enough time in the house to produce a not-surprisingly-named son: Jesse. His neighbors didn’t know they had an infamous outlaw in their midst, because in his Nashville years Jesse was known as ‘J. D. Howard‘. Only later, after his death, did the east-siders realize that a celebrity had moved amongst them..

The movie inspired me to learn a bit more about James’ stay in our area, so I donned my research hat and did some serious intel (translate that: I googled Jesse James Nashville). As an aside, why oh why, didn’t something like Google exist in my college years? I realize that the personal computer was a concept unrealized in those days, and that computers were housed in barn-like structures, but a guy can retro-dream, right?

Anyway, I must say that not a lot is known about his actual day-to-day activities (or should I say I couldn’t find much using Google), but I did come across a rather startling fact:

Jesse and Frank James had a step-brother named Archie Peyton!! I’m beginning to understand Robert Ford a little better knowing that last fact…

When will the writers’ strike start to effect blogs?, or, Harpo’s blues…

Seriously, I was reading this MSNBC piece on the writers’ strike and how certain celebrities were joining the picket line, and then I saw this nugget of information:

“The Oprah Winfrey Show” doesn’t employ union writers and will continue uninterrupted.

mmmmm, interesting….

Imus in the mor-ning (why can’t Sharpton go away?)

So-called shock-jock, Don Imus is coming back. WABC has hired the aging cowboy for morning drive-time. Most of you know Imus by the stupid comment on his show about the Rutgers basketball womens’ team. It was reprehensible*, and thanks to Al Sharpton and other lynch-mobbers, Imus lost his job. He should have been censured and suspended.

On the other hand, Imus is much much more than a stupid comment. He’s cranky, often misanthropic, hypochondriac and probably the most complex, giving television personality in my lifetime. He’s colorful in the midst of oatmeal news-dolls.   If you are NOT a morning person, Imus is the perfect companion.

Now that Imus is returning, Sharpton said yesterday that Citadel (Citadel owns WABC) needs to meet with advertisers and black groups to explain how they plan to prevent the radio host’s return to “his former vile and biased behavior.”

Sharpton, one of the strongest voices calling for the shock jock’s firing, said Imus had a right to make a living and could return to radio.

“Mr. Imus has the right to make a living, but we have the right to make sure he does not come back to disrupt our living,” Sharpton said. “Particularly since these are commitments he made personally.”

WTF! Who shot the sheriff? When exactly did Sharpton get THAT power – “Imus had a right to earn a living and could return to the radio“. Wow.

And..just exactly whose life was disrupted by Imus? I wish someone WOULD disrupt that faux-crown from the furrowed mantle of the man who has apparently become the great decider. Did anybody tell Bush?

*Let’s stipulate that the comment was vile, stupid, racist and shouldn’t have been said.  Let’s also stipulate that there is more to any of us than some of the stupid things we’ve said.

Can’t we agree on freakin’ anything?, or, oh, oh, oh, O’Reilly

The other day a few* of us noticed (and wrote) that Bill O’Reilly said something really stupid (see post below  for my take).  O’Reilly seemed surprised that black folks could run a restaurant as well as white folks.  None of the bloggers around here (including myself) want O’Reilly to lose his job.  I don’t want him to be arrested, and I certainly don’t want his speech curtailed.  If he or anyone wants to brandish a Confederate flag on his or t-shirt, they get to wear the questionable garb with impunity.

All we are saying, is give stupid a chance…that is to say, when something is said by a media figure, who has a nightly show on a prominent cable network, says something so stupid, or clearly indicative of a life white-washed, can’t we all agree that this was a stupid thing to say?

Why in God’s name, does this have to turn into a diatribe about how liberals want to curtail the free-speech rights of God-fearing Americans or about the plight of the poor poor white man.**

O’Reilly is defending himself in his usual arrogant way….’they’re after me, they’re after me.  Poor poor Bill…

The other day, Sharon Cobb wrote about the schism between voices on the left and on the right..her points were well-taken.   This O’Reilly story is a perfect example.  Instead of everyone either ignoring the story or pointing out the man’s ignorance, we start flailing each other about who is the better, more-free, American.  Sheeeesh.

*few thousand

** read the comments on Kat’s post

The strange final letters of Mother Teresa

Yet another cache of letters written by the sainted Mother in her final years. This one leaves me a bit confused:

The color orange leaves me cold. In times of turmoil and inner strife, I achieved some relief by listening to ‘Brick House’ by a group named the Commodores. I’ve seen the future and its name is Tiger. I’d have to go with Otis and Carla over Marvin and Tami, but it’s close. I once let the dogs out. I love the name Pervis and the word mellifluous. If you are the runner on first, and a catchable ball is hit to either left or center, advance half-way down the line before retreating to first after the catch. I am NOT the walrus.

What is, ‘And if your right eye offend you, pluck it out, and cast it from you: for it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish’?

The answer: one of the top ten things the new ‘talking Jesus’ currently on sell at a Wal-Mart near you probably WON’T be saying…

It happens to the best of them..Rocky road for the former great..

Did you show much emotion,

When you received your demotion?

Once one of the special nine,

but later told, ‘you’re not our kind’,

Maybe it’s because you’re one of the shadeys,

Named after the god of Hades,

I guess you move in the wrong kind of orbit,

If you were a movie, would you be Norbit?

I’m still sad you got the boot-o,

Just one year ago, you were the planet Pluto

Someone wiser than I may explain your demise..

Were you just a meteorite in disguise?

Words cannot express the emotions – it’s the first anniversary of the end of Pluto being planetary,

Thanks to G-snaps for reminding me.

‘You can TAKE the reservation, you don’t know how to HOLD the reservation, or, Jameson Suites will not have my bedding anymore

I’m a Dave Ramsey believer on some points, chiefly the deal about credit cards. I guess I should say I’m a near-believer because I do have a credit card, but I rarely use the thing. I like to pay cash. Tonight I’m in Jackson, TN and I’m staying at the Country Inn and Suites. They take cash and they give the state rate, their room is comfortable, the air conditioner works, the TV works and the bed is ample.

On the other hand, take the Jameson Suites, which is where I made a reservation. They do not take cash after 7:00 PM. In my previous stays I’ve always arrived before 7:00. I didn’t know about their no-cash policy after 7:00. There is no sign stating that cash policy. When I made the reservation, their computer ‘remembered me’ and I’m guessing they remembered I paid cash. When I made the reservation, I told them I would be arriving around 7:30 or 8:00 PM. The person who TOOK the reservation did not mention this policy to me.

Needless to say, when I arrived, cash in hand and I was rebuffed, I was steamed. I did not curse. I did not yell, but I did show more than a modicum of irritation. On the other hand, I had an epiphany…It relates to the fact that I believe that pretty much everything in life can be related to at least one Seinfeld episode. I realized that I could be more than just a sideline viewer…For one brief shining moment, I could be Jerry. I promise you that the following is pretty close to verbatim. I’ve rarely been prouder.

Jerry/John H: I made a reservation for a king-size room, non-smoking.

Agent/Desk Clerk: (noticing that I have cash literally in hand) We can’t give you the room after 7:00 for cash.

Jerry/John H: I don’t understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?

Agent: Yes, we do, unfortunately we can’t give you the room

Jerry/John H: But the reservation keeps the room. That’s why you have the reservation.

Agent: I know why we have reservations.

Jerry/John H: I don’t think you do. If you did, I’d have a room. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to *hold* the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody
can just take them. (I was REALLY PROUD of myself at this point. Sadly, the clerk neither felt sympathy nor seemed to realize that she was taking part in a seminal moment of my post-modern life)

At this point, I veered off-script, but the results were nearly sponge-Seinfeld worthy:

Agent: I’m sorry we can’t give you a room. You can speak to the manager.

John H: ok, let me speak to the manager

Agent: I’m sorry..you can’t speak to the manager. She’s not here tonight.

John H: you just told me I could speak to the manager and now you are telling me that I can’t speak to the manager. Does she have a phone?

Agent: You can’t speak to the manager and you can’t have a room.

John H: (holding out a crisp $100 bill. You do see that this is legal tender, right (ok, at this point, I just may, just may have sounded a bit irritated)

Agent: I’m sorry, you can’t have a room for cash. You cannot speak to the manager until tomorrow.

John H: (leaving) trust me, I’ll speak to the manager tomorrow!

I really do think it’s sad that people who want to pay cash, can’t pay cash. It is worth something, you know! Jameson’s ain’t a bad place to stay, but they’ve lost my business.

Good news for the cousins of Arkansas!

No need to wait!!

Say, we don’t get too many marsupials in here, or “Joey, I’m not angry anymore”, or maybe he jumped bail

Local authorities in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi have reported runaway kangaroo sightings on or about US Highway 90. No one was able to pinpoint the kangaroo’s ultimate destination (perhaps the ‘crossroads’ in Clarksdale, or possibly Tunica, or maybe sensibly just trying to get the hell out of the state?), but one assumes the ‘roo isn’t heading to old Mexico.

My favorite quote in the story:

Officials say animal-control officers have never tackled a kangaroo.

I guess the old civil-service test for animal-control officers in Mississippi has gotta be revised…

They can’t say ‘Dolly’

This headline gives me the giggles:

Thai police to sport ‘Hello Kitty’ armbands

Even Barry has doubts

Barry Bonds Not Certain He’ll Be Present For His 756th Home Run

SAN FRANCISCO—Barry Bonds added his voice to the chorus of criticism surrounding his inevitable breaking of the all-time home-run record…

Still the hardest working man in show business

Papa’s got a brand new bag.

Arggggggggggggggggghhh – Stop with the freakin’ generalizations

If a person believed everything he/she read* and they only read conservative to right-right-wing blogs and talk shows you’d believe that liberals were illogical, america-haters, godless, semi-treasonous, responsible for the decline in American civilization as well as losing the Vietnam war, irresponsible, bad lovers, and a whole lot more, but this illogical liberal brain can’t remember any more.

What brought this on? Don Surber, a respected and genial blogger of the conservative bent, makes the following statement in a post about bloggers ‘owning’ the comments on their blog:

Of course, liberals never accept personal responsibility

good grief. Do you know all liberals, Don? Do you know me? Do you claim that Bobby Kennedy never accepted responsibility, or even .50% of all liberals? I am so sick and tired of people stating that ‘______________’ are all ANYTHING. It’s sloppy. It’s red meat to the sychophants, but little else.

And another thing..you state that a blogger ‘owns’ the comments made on his or her blog? Yeah, as a blog owner, I can delete comments, and I have on one or two occasions when the commentary was cruel. But the logical conclusion from your argument is to say a blogger is responsible for a commenter calling him ‘deranged’ and ‘irrational’. I’d leave those type of comments on my blog if the writer was talking about me, but I certainly don’t take responsibility for them. That’s why they’re called comments..commentary on the post. I know you are specifically targeting obscene and vile comments, but the ‘ownership’ implication seems to be far fetched.

*You don’t know how much I would love to believe that Hillary really did name Bigfoot as her running mate. Alas, the World News Weekly is going the way of the dodo.

A deeper understanding of the game…

My I’m just grumpy this morning because my stomach is recovering from the ingestion of this barium concrete solution taken in order that the ‘cat’ scan folks can better view my inside-parts, .which fits in with my policy of celebrating Friday the 13th with a special viewing. I really do feel like a concrete mixing truck.

I was reading Sports Illustrated and ran across the interview with Joey Chestnut (the new hot dog eating champion) when I noticed that he was the 3-time winner of the freaking ‘Fried Asparagus Eating’ competition. WTF? Not only is there a ‘Fried Asparagus Eating contest, there is a damn GOVERNING BODY for eating contest (International Federation of Competitive Eating). I suspect they were created to grab their own piece of the competitive-eating pie.

The IFoCE actually has rankings of the top 50 eaters (world wide), including, my favorite – Crazy Legs Conti. The bio on Crazy L actually contains the lines:

Legs struggled in 2006 to maintain the momentum he showed in his early years. However, his perseverance has earned him a greater knowledge of self and a deeper understanding of the game.

In addition, he has shown himself to have an affinity for lobster eating, twice placing in the money in this difficult discipline.

Has the apocalypse begun and I missed it? Is there any better example of an over-fed greedy populace than the competitive ingestion of food (other contests include pancakes, gelatin, crawdads, pizza, and of course, pigs feet).

Do the folks down at Second Harvest get a little verklempt when they read this stuff?

Weird science, or former Surgeon General Bush-whacked

According to this Reuters story on MSNBC,

“The first U.S. surgeon general appointed by President Bush accused the administration on Tuesday of political interference and muzzling him on key issues like embryonic stem cell research.

“Anything that doesn’t fit into the political appointees’ ideological, theological or political agenda is ignored, marginalized or simply buried,” Dr. Richard Carmona, who served as the nation’s top doctor from 2002 until 2006, told a House of Representatives committee.”

Medicine and science should not be filtered through ideology. The scientific method doesn’t involve Rovian puree’ or theological cleansing. This is another in a long line of shameful episodes from this administration…a parade of cronys, phonys, ideologues, and incompetents. When they get a good one, they suppress and marginalize.

In this case, we are not talking about a shunned Clinton leftover. This was supposed to be their man. But, they didn’t want a man. They wanted a patsy.

Your ship is sinking, Bush-ites (the few of you that are left).

2009 can not get here soon enough.

Yeah, but this one eats popcorn – I’ll give you the punch line, do you know the joke?

I don’t know, I never looked!

With a crowbar…

Well, every afternoon I grab a bag of Cheetos and I put a porno in the VCR…

What kind of duck do you take me for!!!??

If I’m going to be impotent, I want to look impotent..

Hit the ball, drag Bruce, hit the ball, drag Bruce….

I didn’t know it was her turn!

The other one’s a blimp.

I was talking to the duck!

Okay, now what?

Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.

The bad news is, I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday!

I don’t know, it all happened so fast!

You’ve done nothing but complain since you’ve been here!

Are you gonna play golf or are you just going to screw around?

Don’t forget the coffee!

Ed, switch the heads on two and four!!

But first, the ARISTOCRATS!